Why am I freaking out

  1. Cause two of the professors writing me recommendation letters for grad school decided they they no longer felt like doing that
    They both just poofed out of my existence, at least for me they've stopped responding to my emails one had even written and started the letters and just up and quit
  2. Cause I missed the deadline for like half of the applications that I already paid for
    Reason refer to the top
  3. I'm scrambling to find two more people so I don't fuck the other applications up
    I did find one professor! So just one more I'm still panicking but it's something of course you know also nervous that she will back out to lol
  4. Because I'm home and my mom is openly miserable all the time
    Because she hates children even though she has three kids and her profession has always been working with children
  5. Because I only graduated three weeks ago and my family keeps asking me when I'm getting a job
    I've applied to so many places already and they are going to try and make me work for my sister
  6. Because of the fucking disappearing mouse
    This one seems stupid but I think I may have discovered a phobia? Yay
  7. Because my other sister is probably about to move into this house with us
    That would be her, her husband and two kids we've all lived together before and it is miserable(not cause of the kids I love them which is another reason I'm worried about it cause they don't need to experience how awful I know it's going to be)
  8. Cause I feel like I'm failing already?
    It's legit only actually been three weeks but it seems so much longer probably because I'm already this unhappy. I just wish someone would hire me and I thought I would be more social while I had a break but I've been sick almost the entire time and I've also been freaking out to much to attempt to talk to most people
  9. Cause I made a dumb boy mistake
    I'm rolling my eyes at myself
  10. I'm going to try and stop freaking out at generally everything I realize this is probably because I've been home for to long because I remember this kinda happening during the summer
    I might try and leave in a few days to do something by myself cause I don't think I can hang out with anyone right now
  11. Will this work? Should I cut my hair? Will I brush my hair find out in the next chapter of
    Is that Larry? Larry no!
  12. Oh right and there's been break ins all around are neighborhood fun times
  13. Yeah I tried to talk to someone and deff had a full panic attack
    Movie day by myself it is
  14. I deff just thought about jobs again and like how am I even going to be able to go on an interview like this
    Like normally my emotions are like gone when I have to be in a professional setting but it's pretty bad right now
  15. So I attempted sleeping in my room and
    Update I did not do that
  16. I don't like not really having things to do like I can do tasks and whatnot but like idk
    This gives me to much time to think and I'm thinking about to many things that aren't great
  17. I cried at the doctors office today and ended up saying like way to much to my doctor
    He was helpful though and seemed to not think I was the complete worst although I deff still felt like I was
  18. Now I'm fine which like idk what to make of that but I'll take it
  19. Things do not last
  20. There's nothing I love more then being told how terrible I look in a dress
  21. Hello steak sauce
  22. One day I will was escape this hell hole
    On the next episode of why is my family so mean, it wasn't even to me they are horrible to our neighbors and I hate being associated with it