Why I keep my sadness to myself

Besides my dramatic lists I'm not really a feeling sharer I never have been but I didn't think of why till semi recently
  1. I've always been told by my family that you don't let people know your secrets
    Or "your business" as my mom puts it sadness is deff supposed to be a secret if you're sad for more then a day and you didn't go through a break up or a death. Otherwise it's not really considered normal "why are you so sad nothing happened"
  2. I've always been told crying in public is a big noooooo like one is never supposed to do that
    If I was a kid and cried I couldn't go anywhere I've been told to put make up on to hide theta that I've been crying and I mean I've deff even been left places as an adult if I cried .
  3. I've been told no one actually wants to help you they just want an opening
    Which I mean I sadly find myself believing that one sometimes because it has been true with some people
  4. On the flip side I just started to notice it's also my mom
  5. My mom is my mom and I love her but she is constantly negative around cause I'm family and I'm safe
    She talks about how miserable her life has been how unhappy she still is quotes depression commercials.
  6. Her negativity is honestly quite draining at times and I don't want anyone else to feel burned out like I do
    So I say nothing and I think it's for the best because I don't need to stress other people out with my problems
  7. My feelings are also often not validated
    I have some really great friends now and I often wonder how they even deal with me but I didn't always have people that were supportive.
  8. Yeah Idk I was just in a pretty bad wave of depression for a few days so I shut down and didn't talk to anyone
    But I'm like why do I find that helpful and I guess this might be why
  9. I might add on to this but this is all for now
    Later list app