THINGS I DO WHEN IT'S 3AM ON A WEDNESDAY AND I CAN'T SLEEP

  1. Make a list of things I do at 3AM on a Wednesday and I can't sleep
  2. Troll the List App
  3. Troll my friends from high school on Facebook to remind them of their depraved lives in 2007
  4. Follow celebrities on Twitter
    (Because I'm ashamed to do it by the light of day)
  5. Listen to songs containing the word "insomnia" or "insomniac"
  6. Go get a snack
  7. Watch 10 mins of a new tv show then lose interest
  8. Send work emails I forgot about during the day
  9. Test to see if my room is dark enough that I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed
  10. Drink 32oz of water so when I finally fall asleep I'll be woken up every hour or two to go to the bathroom