Things Taking Up the Space in My Brain My Parents Reserved for Me to Cure Cancer

  1. Lyrics to most top 40 songs of the early 2000s
  2. The locations of too many state fairs
    Sedalia, Missouri; Hutchinson, Kansas; Dallas, Texas; Shreveport, Louisiana; St. Paul, Minnesota; Grand Island, Nebraska; Tulsa AND Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
  3. The names of all 50 state capitals and some territories.
    Test me.
  4. The political climate of the under-appreciated United States territory, the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands.
  5. Ownership histories of the major broadcast and cable television networks.
    Related: my very long monologue on why the 24-hour news cycle is poisoning American minds.
  6. An unabridged version of the history behind the University of Missouri's 1963 reorganization into the University of Missouri System.
    Hint: politics were involved.
  7. Mean Girls
    All of it. The whole thing.
  8. My very long monologue on why ampersands are the worst.
    Related: my very long monologue on why Oxford commas are the worst.
  9. The numbers of several land line telephones that have long been out of service.
  10. The unfortunate knowledge that I spent 20 minutes making this list.