Things to Do the Day Before the Fourth of July

It's coming tomorrow. Will you be ready?
  1. Wake up and look outside.
  2. Decide it's too bright and tomorrow is a big day. Best to go back to bed and rest up.
  3. Wonder if you have anything that's red, white and/or blue to wear that isn't covered in stains from the (insert decade of your wild youth here).
  4. Look in pantry. See the jello your spouse bought to make festive treats. It's either hot water or cold water to add, but you're not sure and you ruined it last time. Last time you ruined jello.
  5. Decide it's too daunting a task and skip the jello.
  6. Go back to bed. You're drained from worrying about the jello. Tomorrow's a big day.
  7. Get up because you're worried about sparklers.
  8. Check all fire extinguishers in the house.
  9. Decide you're not positive about the extinguishers, but it will probably be fine.
  10. Look at your kids and decide you're just going to tell them tomorrow to skip the sparklers. You'll show them a video about them on YouTube later.
  11. Sit on couch. It's not the same as your bed, but it's lunchtime.
  12. Hear neighbors outside, starting celebrations a day early.
  13. Close all the curtains. Maybe they won't think you're home.
  14. Hear the doorbell ring.
  15. Ignore it.
  16. Tell your kids to be quiet, we're not answering the door.
  17. Think of some elaborate excuse to tell your neighbors tomorrow why you didn't answer the door. Probably something to do with a person selling magazines.
  18. Decide the couch isn't very comfortable and you're drained from your heart racing of not answering the door.
  19. You're not tired anymore, but you should really have maximum energy for tomorrow. Decide to go back to bed.
  20. Turn on Netflix for background noise to tell yourself you're accomplishing something today. Probably go with a British speaking documentary.
  21. Remember that you forgot to feed the kids.
  22. Pour them a bowl of pretzels. Take rest of bag back to bed with you.
  23. Start Netflix documentary over again since you didn't pay attention last time thinking about the sparklers.
  24. On second thought, decide to play something more patriotic since tomorrow is America's birthday.
  25. A Ken Burns war documentary will do. War documentaries always are key for falling asleep. And you need to rest up.
  26. Tomorrow's a big day.