POSSIBLE TITLES FOR MY MEMOIR

I mean, I'd read my book.
  1. "Is this girl flirting with me or is she just being nice?" And other questions.
  2. "Oh god damn it, she was totally flirting and I totally should have asked for her number." A life of missed connections.
  3. Speeding through yellow lights: a life on the edge
  4. Almost falling asleep in coffee shops, and other close calls
  5. Flirting Shamelessly: A Practical Guide to getting laid and avoiding commitment
  6. Dying Single: The life of a Vegan with Gluten, Lactose, Casein, Whey, and Latex Allergies.
  7. Staring at people in coffee shops and hoping I looked away fast enough when they noticed but not so fast that I totally gave myself away. The gripping life story.
  8. "Why am I so attracted to bartenders?" Like seriously every person I have ever dated has been a bartender at some point in their lives." And other questions my therapists have tried to make me think harder about.
  9. Getting through your day while bleeding internally: a closer look at Celiac's
  10. How to survive in the wilderness
    In case my book is being sold after some kind of apocalyptic event. No actual survival tips but how else are you gonna get anyone interested in your book after some kind of apocalyptic event? Amiright?
  11. How to out-fuckboy a fuckboy: Embracing the garbage human within to scare off the ones around you.
    I could really do this one I think.
  12. Most of my ex-boyfriends have been significantly older than me, and other lapses in judgement.
  13. "How much coffee is too much coffee?" One woman's brave quest to find the answer.
    Spoiler alert: the answer is "enough to drain your adrenal system so violently that you're exhausted and sick for more than two weeks, and have heroin-like withdrawal symptoms when a professional forces you to finally cut back."
  14. This book is only half completed because I'm great at starting projects but terrible at completing them. Sorry.
    Not half price though. Full book price.