THINGS I INEXPLICABLY CARRY AROUND IN MY PURSE ON A DAILY BASIS

  1. A giant bottle of advil
  2. A piece of cloth to clean my glasses, even if I'm wearing my contacts that day
  3. A travel sized bottle of saline, even if I'm wearing my glasses that day
  4. A huge wad of keys, with no less than four souvenir key chains, none of which have any sentimental value to me. Also there's several of those plastic store discount tab thingies, including ones for regional stores in states I don't live in, and a Hollywood Video membership card, circa 2006
  5. My car keys, on a separate key chain, just because
  6. Approximately 40,000 bobby pins
  7. A spare pair of underpants, because I threw them in there once on a whim, and now I'm terrified that the day I take them back out will be the day I need them
  8. My wallet. I'm not an animal, for pete's sake
  9. A random unidentified pill that I'm almost positive is a dye-free Benedryl
  10. Toothpicks I grabbed while drunk at a sushi restaurant
  11. Hmmm I didn't even know that pocket existed, yet there's some nubs of colored chalk in it
  12. Some extra maxi pads, for the day when I can be a hero and help some lady out
  13. Mints