Top Ten List of Lists

  1. 1.
    Craig's- ripped off on concert tickets, met my last few girlfriends on casual encounters, it's the list that keeps on giving
  2. 2.
    Schindler's (the actual list, not the movie, although if you think about it, if they made the movie now with Liam Neeson saving a bunch of Jews during the holocaust it'd be the greatest of all time, hands down)
  3. 3.
    The Grocery List- a great basis for the things you need to get... And then when you get another hundred dollars worth of stuff you don't need you don't feel as bad.
  4. 4.
    The Shit List- "you're on my shit list buddy," it's such a friendly way to say I'm gonna harbor some serious passive aggressive resentment for whatever shit you just pulled.
  5. 5.
    Dewey Decimal System-where would be as a society without it? Where!?!?
  6. 6.
    People's Sexiest Man- where would be as a society without it? Where!?!?
  7. 7.
    New York Times Bestseller- Where else could we find the books that everyone on a Carnival cruise ship is reading?
  8. 8.
    Periodic table of elements- drugs.
  9. 9.
    Santa's- Do you know how confusing this thing is for child Jews? Imagine you don't even qualify for the naughty list, you just don't count at all. Like what the fuck am I supposed to do here???
  10. 10.
    Bill of Rights- even though American Sniper is bullshit, 🇺🇸!!!!