Just some small fish faux pas I'm looking to make amends for.
  1. I zoned out and it happened to be while making eye contact with you across the room. You didn't know me. It was probably entirely unsettling.
  2. I saw you across the way at Pitfire Pizza and approached waving, but saw you were sitting with someone I fired 3 years ago. I pulled a swift 180. It was REAL awkward.
  3. I looked at a picture of your 2 year old and thought her smile was fake.
  4. I farted alone in my office and 4 seconds later you came in and made a B-line with my mail. I didn't address it. Neither did you. You didn't deserve that.
  5. You posted a selfie after dyeing your hair a kooky new color. You were looking for support via social likes. I left you out in the cold.
  6. I didn't go to your wedding because I had just been to 3 weddings in 2 months and was over it.
    Also I hadn't seen you in years. The pictures were super pretty though!
  7. I called you a chicken shit driver. Screamed it rather. This one goes out to a large number of Angelenos.
    I wasn't in control of my chill. Shoulda just put a podcast on.