What I learned in East Asia

(so far)
  1. If you close your eyes while eating any kind of tofu, it becomes chicken.
    This method does not work as well with squid-like seafood.
  2. The Japanese always seem to be in a hurry.
    If you think you can't get run over by a 70 year old Japanese lady, think again.
  3. The Japanese taught me that an elevator's posted capacity is merely a suggestion.
    They also left me with a bruised rib to remember the lesson.
  4. Scooters are not a stigmatized method of transportation.
    Only nerds drive cars.
  5. Graphic tees with overused one-liners are still in style among middle-aged Taiwanese fathers.
    If I had a yuan for every time I saw a shirt that said "smooth like butter" printed over a clip art-styled stick of butter... I could probably buy one myself.
  6. On the subject of scooters and style, Taiwanese scooter drivers keep their hands cool during the summer by wearing oven mitts.
    Watch out, American biker gangs. Black leather and Harleys aren't 'in' anymore.
  7. Just like college students, the Japanese lack a fundamental awareness of oncoming traffic.
    The Japanese only run when there is nothing to run from.
  8. Slurping soup is not only inoffensive, it's expected.
    In general, while eating, stare down, try not to breathe, and never look up. Every meal is essentially an unofficial time trial.
  9. That being said, Japan and Taiwan are home to some of the most polite and respectful people that you'll ever meet.