Things Your Child(ren) Prevent you From Doing

I love my kid, and I would not trade her for anything. But she is a pro at stopping things from happening.
  1. It.
    Sometimes I think our child has a sensor that alerts her if anyone else in the house is touching below the waist.
  2. Having an accurate music or movie recommendation queue.
    No matter how many times I play good music, because of my daughter, Google thinks I want to hear that shitty Rhianna song from Home. Also, if you want to watch Veggie Tales, USE THE NETFLIX KIDS PROFILE! CHRIST SAKE!
  3. Having any food of your own.
    Seriously, this kid hears wrappers from the next county. "What does Mom have?" @Elledeebee
  4. Sleeping in
    Just forget it. For at least 10 years. This picture is a lie!