DO NOT include a bit about your first name/last name/middle name- this is a classic rookie thing to do
  1. This has been a really _____ year for me
    Fill in the blank: Weird, challenging, good (if you say good, you have to note that this is surprising)
  2. Topical pop culture reference
    (not Game of Thrones tho- be more original)
  3. Mention your parents
  4. Reference Tinder
    (or whatever the current app of the moment is)
  5. Quick aside about your parents and tinder or whatever
    (this is literally just a sentence cuz this material is not original)
  6. A funny story about your childhood in which you are the villain
  7. Another pop culture reference
    (this one should be something classic like X-Men or The Princess Bride but not like Harry Potter or Star Wars yet)
  8. THE BEGINNING of a childhood story that will eventually endear the audience to you
    this one is important because this is the main plot we call back to throughout the set
  9. Qualify your feelings
    Basically, explain there is more nuance to your feelings about whatever childhood memory than might have just been implied by your upbeat/straight forward/exaggerated delivery (idk what type of delivery you have)
  10. Tell a joke about something kinda random while referencing a popular celebrity
    Could be somebody current like Drake or something classic like Tom Cruise jumping on the couch, doesn’t matter
  11. Call back and continuation of childhood memory story
    BUT it absolutely must be self-deprecating in tone now #endearing
  12. Ask how people manage to love you but, like, in a cute way
  13. Something actually heart warming
  14. Talk about how you feel validated
    #relatable #vulnerable #honest (if you're performing in LA also make a joke about parking validation here)
  15. For some reason, you should create a visual having to do with a certain type of IT car
    What type is conditional on your audience: like maybe if you’re in LA, you’re talking about a Prius- when in doubt tho & you’re in an American city, just pick a TOYOTA CAMRY
  16. Talk about how you’re the opposite of everyone else in one particular way
  17. Somehow connect this back to your parents
  18. Talk about moving or marriage OR CHANGE in general
  19. SIMPLE physical comedy bit
    Work on your physicality if you're like me and your improv teachers always hate your space work
  20. The part of your childhood memory story that makes everyone CRY
  21. Talk about your dreams and the future
    your life dreams, not the sleeping kind
  22. Talk about how you’re on this path now when
  23. BAM 💥
    Something serious and unexpected that makes everything else you’ve talked about so far seem kinda silly
  24. Conclusion of the childhood memory story and wow it suddenly relates to this new, more serious thing
  25. Small call back to some other part of your set
  26. Mention therapy
  27. NOW we can have your Harry Potter or Star Wars reference
  28. Some funny line that is probably just your most viral tweet, aka a very quick joke
  29. END on a high note about how you’re PUMPED about something that still connects back to your main childhood memory story
    you thought that was the end of the story before, but PSYCH! You gotta end on a high note with it
  30. 👏 THE 👏 END 👏