My Completely Subjective-Yet-Still-Definitive Ranking of the Songs From Meatloaf’s Bat Out of Hell

Fair warning: I know very little about music in general, but I have listened to this album probably a million times in my car if that counts for anything.
  1. 1.
    Paradise by the Dashboard Light
    I mean, c’mon. It’s eight insane minutes of a rock opera that freaking rocks. It’s become a staple on classic rock stations and at karaoke bars everywhere. Sure, it made high school me have unrealistic expectations about a seventeen-year-old boy's commitment level, but I still love it. Also, high school me was, for some reason, very determined to run a mile in under the amount of time it took to listen to this song, and I finally did it, and it felt great.
  2. 2.
    Two of out Three Ain't Bad
    ... actually it's two out of seven... lame joke, sorry! BUT Meat Loaf’s vocal performance here is unmatched on this album/probably just in his career. Plus, it packs the same emotional punch of my other favorite Jim Steinman song, Total Eclipse of the Heart. But instead of a power ballad, we get a heart wrenching confessional… it’s just so good.
  3. 3.
    Bat Out of Hell
    What an opening number! It really sets the stage for the story being told here, and even if you’re not trying to engage with its lyrical narrative, the instrumentals on this thing are awesome. It reminds me of Billy Joel’s Only the Good Die Young, and I love it.
  4. 4.
    You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth
    It starts off kinda creepy, but then ends up being a really sweet song about saying I love you? I really like this song.
  5. 5.
    For Crying Out Loud
    Not the flashiest song on the album by any means, but it’s beautiful. Also, the vocals on “I was damned and you were saved” gets me every time. And every time it’s windy in LA, I think about the chilly California wind and this song and want to cry and my friends look at me weird.
  6. 6.
    All Revved Up with No Place to Go
    I think I would rank this song higher if I related with certain parts of it less.
  7. 7.
    Heaven Can Wait
    This song always just felt so out of place to me on the album. I still like it, I just don’t understand how it fits in with everything else? Plz explain.