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Things I probably should have not done
  1. Become a baker
    My father said "be a banker" I could've sworn he said baker...
  2. Liked my ex on match
    But hey it said we were 52% compatible!
  3. Forgot that sandwich in my car
    Wow does that smell!
2 more...
  1. Make sure the bathroom is empty
    There is nothing worse than pooping when someone else is around. It's totally awk!
  2. Make sure the toilet seat is clean
    Obviously use a seat cover if available
  3. Don't Rush!
    Remember you're getting payed for this poop
3 more...
  1. 1.
    Go to work hungover
    You won't have to be coherent when talking at work today so drink up the night before.
  2. 2.
    Take longer breaks
    Who's gonna stop you?
  3. 3.
    Work slower
    No reason to be efficient today!
  4. 4.
    Leave a few minutes early
    See #2