What I Wanted to Be Growing Up, Chronologically

I wanted to be a lot of things that sound better than what I'm doing now.
  1. 1.
    Ham Cutter
    I didn't want to be a butcher, just strictly ham. Like when you slice sliced ham into smaller bits for scramble eggs.
  2. 2.
    Professional Football Player
    I hadn't yet learned that I'm at the top of the bell curve athletically.
  3. 3.
    Professional Wrestler
    Yea, I can totally get jacked and look good in spandex underwear. Definitely not genetically dispositioned to look average
  4. 4.
    Doctor
  5. 5.
    Pay me to give my opinion
    Idk how to monetize this but I always thought I'd be good at it.