Best* of hot take/joke journal

Or at least intriguing enough to put out
  1. "Do you ever think how crypto-Jews have to play dreidel in secret?"
  2. "Your yearly pen budget should only be enough to get you to your local bank and steal theirs"
  3. Why rob an art museum when you can spray paint "2002 senior prank, gold county high!"On the Mona Lisa
  4. "They should train surgeons by seeing how well they can rip out a piece of notebook paper"
  5. "Crucifixion as a yoga pose"
  6. At special events, every time you shake a hand go in for a two hander and say "father"
  7. "Raindrops are really relaxing until they start hitting off beats"
  8. Every time someone's complaining about what they've had to deal with just go "ah, been there"
  9. If your name is "santi", fuck you.
  10. "I've only ever seen kindles on subways"
  11. "Licking a flagpole is way more patriotic then saluting"
  12. "Bugs bunny would be a lovely head to have on your wall"
  13. "Tying someone's shoelaces together is a lot more work than just kicking their knees in"
  14. "If I could fight for the Mexican army, I would"
  15. "Just say your IQ is a fraction"