Dear Miss Manners

  1. Is it wrong to put a little smear of soft butter on this cookie before I eat it?
  2. Ok but I mean is it *really* wrong?
  3. Like on a scale of picking-a-difficult-booger-when-nobody's-around to voting-for-Donald-Trump, how wrong is it?
  4. It's pretty low on the list right?
  5. Well, yes you are right I am trying to stay fit.
  6. Yes, lose a little weight too.
  7. Ok yes my cholesterol has been a problem. But I'm medicating.
  8. And for some reason that little smear of butter sounds so good right now.
  9. Right.
  10. Right.
  11. Not even the cookie by itself?
  12. You're right you're right I know you're right.
  13. Pass the celery.