FAVORITE NEW WATCH OS 2 FEATURES
Side note: I 💗 my Apple Watch.
- •Finally has an exercise category for "going to Costco".
- •Subtle warning on the wrist when approaching terrorists or teenage nerds.
- •Now fully supports my religious freedom.
- •20% increase in smugness.
- •Automatically logs prostate function.
- •When in a room with three or more Apple watches, they will all begin to chirp affectionately.
- •$17,000 solid gold version now includes customizable Feel The Bern themed watch face.
- •Can now tell time twice as fast.
- •Can now say "Scottie" instead of "Hey Siri" when talking to your arm like an idiot.
- •New "does this match" feature gives rudimentary clothing advice to nerds who only discovered fashion once Apple put a computer chip in it.
- •Early access to soon-to-be-released Facebook "dislike" button.
- •Supports fully immersive The List App interface when wearing six watches on one arm.