HOW TO PERFORM THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER ON A STRANGER WHO IS NOT CHOKING
This is something I do a lot of.
- 1.Identify an unsuspecting stranger.Preferably someone who looks like they might be socially awkward or not interested in interaction.
- 2.Run to your target and exclaim "ARE YOU OK?!"Ideally the person will look at you surprised and say nothing.
- 3.Spread your arms wide and demand the person be given "some space".Do this even if there is nobody around.
- 4.Put your shoulders back and say "don't worry, I read about this on @wikiHow."Nobody need know the truth.
- 5.Should the target begin to object reassure them by saying "you need to save your breath. Try not to speak."If they don't object, marry them.
- 6.Perform the Heimlich maneuver flawlessly.
- 7.Send the target a birthday card every year reassuring them you don't intend to claim the life debt they now owe you.Do this consistently until you or they die.