LET'S PLAY A GAME OF "GEOFF RESPONDS TO TODAY'S HEADLINES"

  1. Blindfolded and unconscious.
  2. If I were Brian Sandoval I wouldn't be on the list in the first place.
  3. SeaWorld is even more awful than we thought. Surprise. 🎉
  4. There's a reason it's called a "hearing" and not a "listening" but let's do this anyway.
  5. Good. Let the hate flow through you, normally ambivalent centerist voters. You will soon see the true power of the dark side. And then vote in unheard of numbers and send the dark lord packing.
  6. I finally get Stuart Little.
  7. I'm not sure that's a valid use of the word "his" quite yet.