Grits, like all grain-based hot cereals, are objectively good.
  1. They are warm and comforting.
    People objectively like comfort.
  2. They are versatile.
    Soft or firm, sweet or savory, creamy, fried, spicy, mild, cheesy…grits don't care. People objectively like versatility.
  3. They are a good friend to less outgoing foods.
    I know what you're thinking: smoked brisket is amazing. But it's not the kind of thing to draw attention to itself. Grits can nestle up next to them and say "I'm here for you, and I won't take away from you." People objectively like good friends.
  4. They are truly American.
    Grits are coarse ground corn cooked in liquid. People have been making that in America for thousands of years. Laura Ingalls Wilder ate grits. And you can too. People objectively like America right? Right guys? Guys?
  5. They are simple.
    People objectively like simplicity.
  6. Terrorists don't eat grits.
    I'm honestly just guessing here but I think if a terrorist did get a big bowl of creamy grits they might rethink their life choices.