PARALLEL UNIVERSES

  1. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist Mormon customs official who won't allow coffee into the country.
  2. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist naturalist game and fish official who refuses to issue hunting licenses to anyone who wants to kill animals.
  3. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist Jewish labor department official who refuses to e-verify women for employment.
  4. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist pastafarian OSHA official who refuses to certify non-colander head protection.
  5. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist Saudi county clerk who refuses to issue driver licenses to women.
  6. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist satanist immigration judge who refuses to grant citizenship to would-be citizens who won't take their oath in the name of the great Satan.
  7. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist vegan FDA inspector who won't certify any meat for sale.
  8. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist Tibetan Buddhist police officer who won't issue speeding tickets to anyone wearing yellow.
  9. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist Sikh chairman of the joint chiefs of staff who won't authorize any military operations.
  10. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist Quaker congressperson who won't tell any lies.
  11. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist Buddhist director of the national archives who won't preserve any objects.
  12. The one where Kim Davis is a fundamentalist Amish electricity authority director who won't turn on the generators.