SIGNS I'M SLOWLY BECOMING AN OLD MAN

  1. My barber has always trimmed my eyebrows and nostrils. This last time she did something with the trimmers in my ears.
  2. I've begun to think there might be foods that "tear me up inside".
  3. I've decided my next car will be more comfortable.
  4. Hairline.
  5. I'm thinner than I've been in years and yet I'm not sure my pants are roomy enough.
  6. I can only remember a movie by what pretty actor was in it. And I can't remember her name.
  7. I think I'm losing my ability to pretend to care.