SIGNS I'M SLOWLY BECOMING AN OLD MAN
- •My barber has always trimmed my eyebrows and nostrils. This last time she did something with the trimmers in my ears.
- •I've begun to think there might be foods that "tear me up inside".
- •I've decided my next car will be more comfortable.
- •I'm thinner than I've been in years and yet I'm not sure my pants are roomy enough.
- •I can only remember a movie by what pretty actor was in it. And I can't remember her name.
- •I think I'm losing my ability to pretend to care.