TELL ME YOUR BEST KID JOKE

  1. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
    Put a little boogie in it.
  2. What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
    A Minnie van
    Suggested by   @meganlasher
  3. what sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
    ouch.
    Suggested by   @bisexual
  4. A horse walks into a bar; the bartender says "why the long face?"
    Suggested by   @13spencer
  5. What happened when someone stepped on the grape?
    It let out a little w(h)ine
    Suggested by   @ErinFlaherty
  6. What do you call a pile of cats?
    A meowtain
    Suggested by   @Anna8910
  7. What do you call a cow eating grass?
    A lawn mooer
    Suggested by   @MichaelRose
  8. What do you get when you drop a toaster waffle on a California beach?
    A Sandy Eggo (San Diego) (I maintain that I wrote this joke at age 8)
    Suggested by   @k8mcgarry
  9. A string walks into a bar with a "no strings served" sign and orders a drink.
    Bartender shakes head no & points at sign. String says, "I'm a frayed knot."
    Suggested by   @MichaelRose
  10. What does a nosy pepper do?
    Gets jalapeño business!
    Suggested by   @ladyprofessor
  11. What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?
    Patty 😂
    Suggested by   @alligeeshow
  12. If every dog has its day, what does a dog with a broken tail have?
    A weak end.
    Suggested by   @alissamaynot
  13. What do you call cheese that's not yours?
    Nacho cheese
    Suggested by   @trailingpapers
  14. What's Thor's favorite food?
    A thor-tilla
    Suggested by   @furtadomf
  15. Why was batman so hungry?
    Robin ate all of the worms
    Suggested by   @furtadomf
  16. What do you call four conquistadors in quicksand?
    Quatro sinko.
    Suggested by   @WhelmedDad
  17. What kind of bees wear bras?
    Boobies
    Suggested by   @katya
  18. What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
    Taste.
    Suggested by   @WhelmedDad
  19. How do you circumcise a whale?
    You send in four skin divers.
    Suggested by   @WhelmedDad
  20. How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
    Walking...JK...Rowling.
    Suggested by   @ginnywalsh
  21. What goes red, green, red, green, red, green? A frog in a blender.
    Suggested by   @danibee