THINGS THAT ARE BAD FOR MOST PEOPLE BUT MILD FOR ME

Dunno why. I just always get lucky.
  1. Poison Ivy
    This is what started this list. I got a case of poison ivy when I was maybe 8. Since then it has no effect on me. I can pull it, crush it, walk around in it and never get the slightest rash. Downside: I was Weeder-in-chief of the yard/forest border region when I was a kid. My parents used my power for their own purposes.
  2. Chicken pox
    Like almost every pre-vaccine human I contracted chicken pox as a child. I had a single itchy sore on my tummy, just above my belly button. That's it. Then it went away. It was officially chicken pox though. Some people say this may actually be a problem and there's apparently a test I can take to be sure I have antibodies. I should probably do that.
  3. Seasonal Allergies
    I had seasonal allergies once. It was terrible. But it went away and never came back. My wife and daughters still have to Claritin up every spring but I don't. No idea why not.
  4. Cold Season
    My wife and kids get sick three times for every time I'm sick, I'm never sick more than a day, and my body conveniently only gets sick on the weekend and never when I'm busy. I never have to miss work or other responsibilities.
  5. Drug side effects
    I always read all that side effect stuff about loss of appetite or muscle cramps or whatever and then I think, "hmm, is it happening?!" But it never is. I guess Dramamine makes me sleepy so maybe that counts.
  6. Headaches
    I guess I've had a headache before. Like if I'm way hungry or dehydrated. But it never hurts that much. I've probably taken a pain killer twice in ten years.
  7. Computer problems
    I'm one of those super-annoying people where the computer doesn't work right five times in a row and then you call me over and I push the same button you were pushing and suddenly it works fine. I think this is because the computer respects me.
  8. Swine flu
    I got the swine flu last year. Everybody around me who got it was sick for days. I was really sick but only for a day and a half and then I was fine.