1. I never got around to dying my hair pink.
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    This was the pinnacle of Cool Things That Cool Badass Adults do, and sadly I am neither cool or bad ass. I've dyed my hair red, (almost) black and even blonder, but never pink. In addition to disappointing 13-year-old me, I've also disappointed old school Gwen Stefani
  2. I was never in a band
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    I did flag line in high school band, does that count? No? Okay, never mind. Still a disappointment.
  3. I haven't gone on a date with Ryan Key, lead singer of Yellowcard.
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    Your first celebrity crush may have been someone on Disney, but mine was lead singer and blonde hair enthusiast Yellowcard front man, Ryan Key. I stand by this crush, actually.
  4. I never got a cupcake tattoo
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    Actually I can't even pretend to be on 13-year-old me's side on this one, that would have been dumb and I regret even wanting it.
  5. I haven't hosted SNL
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    This is a big one. I think 2005 Gwen would actually cry over this. How did my acting career not take off after my groundbreaking role in a student written play in high school?
  6. I've never been to Egypt
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    How the hell am I supposed to be the first Egyptologist to host SNL if I haven't even gone to Egypt? God, I really am a total disappointment.