1. "let's check the weather in Houston, I love to watch them suffer" - Mom
  2. "You know? Bluetooth is so cool. Whoever invented it should be getting paid serious money" - Dad
  3. "Oh those poor trees! They're so confined by the concrete sidewalk." -Dad
  4. This convo with my dad
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  5. Dad in response to me freaking out about a bug being on me: "Stop being such a girl, Hailey!"
  6. *me coughing* Dad: Jesus settle down!
  7. Me: Dad if you can guess the name of this song I'll give you $100 . Dad: asshole. Me: not quite