REASONS I HATE MYSELF

I love myself but.....
  1. When people pass by me in public I can't decide if I should smile or look elsewhere, so I smile at the ground
  2. When I want to be healthy I eat a salad for lunch, then I have a second lunch of what I originally wanted
  3. 80% of my tweets get deleted within 20 minutes because of self doubt
  4. When people mention Jesus I automatically roll my eyes
  5. I cant go to bed hungry. I've fallen asleep with 3 slices of cheese on my chest.
  6. When I think a guy is cute or cool, I tend to avoid all eye contact and expect him to come talk to me
  7. I used to wear these sunglasses
  8. I can no longer take shots, like a little bitch
  9. I don't know how to file taxes