Things I Wish I Said Today but Didn't

Instead I probably said "oh" "hmm" or "haha"
  1. 1.
    "I can put more chocolate in it"
    When a man asked for a hot chocolate at work today. Upon receiving said hot chocolate he took one sip, paused, and left. To this I instead said "oh."
  2. 2.
    "That's a big package"
    Had to go to the post office to pick up a package. It was a big package. I think the cashier would have laughed and maybe would have complimented my shoes/how cool it is that such a big package was sent to me. To this I instead said "that's a- never mind thank you"
  3. 3.
    "There's milk in it"
    A girl asked if there was anything in her LATTE (this is important) besides espresso and honey and I said "Nope! That's it! Absolutely nothing else". She called moments later to ask if there was milk in it (her LATTE) because she's allergic. In hindsight that was on both of us.
  4. 4.
    "Can you stop talking I'm making a list"
    To my roommate, just now.
  5. 5.
    "That's awesome I'm so excited for all the money you have be sure to update me daily"
    Sarcastically to my roommate just now again when she told me how much more money she has than me. Instead I said "bank bank bank bank". What the fuck I don't know
  6. 6.
    "Why aren't you Jim Halpert"
    Me, to any guy ever.
  7. 7.
    When my wifi stopped working. Instead I said "UGHHH" which is relatively the same thing but I think "NOOOOO" is more dramatic and softer on the vocal chords.