REAL TEXTS I'VE SENT IN THE PAST WEEK

I'm great at texting.
  1. "Why don't you love me enough to reply to my text about my butt? I love you!"
  2. "No 💩 🕵 (I'm so funny. I can see why you're doing this it's fun.)"
  3. "MATT DAMON!!!"
  4. "I know. I'm cool. I'm super casual. Everything is cool."
  5. "That’s a good point.  Maybe I’m moving too fast with my hypothetical dream baby...  I also don’t know if you’re allowed to have a baby in a dorm???  I think all pets must be aquatic."
  6. "Is this like your tonsils?"
  7. "She is very clean and from California."