SURPRISING BENEFITS TO HAVING CHRONIC LYME DISEASE

After yrs of canceling on ppl bc I was feeling "under the weather," I finally got diagnosed w/ Lyme last summer. Of course I was immediately plunged into severe despair. But wait! Some good things:
  1. 1.
    Legitimate reason to feel sorry for yourself
  2. 2.
    Crying at the drop of a hat is now totally socially acceptable
  3. 3.
    Legitimate reason to expect others to feel bad for you (some people might say "I don't want your pity!" Not me! I 100% want it)
  4. 4.
    You can back out of anything at the last minute and just cite "Lyme disease" and not even be lying
  5. 5.
    You are forced to lie in bed MUCH more often than you used to and you subsequently find out that this is something your body really likes and has needed actually for the last decade or so
  6. 6.
    Your friends feel bad for you (see #3, above) so they give you their HBO Go passwords, DirecTV passwords, iPhone 6s, etc. Jk no one has given me an iPhone 6 :-/
  7. 7.
    You learn about the art of ACCEPTANCE
  8. 8.
    You learn about the practice of GRATITUDE
  9. 9.
    You learn how to SLOW DOWN
  10. 10.
    You actually do all of Deepak & Oprah's 21 Day Meditation Challenge because fuck it you are desperate
  11. 11.
    You have way better vocabulary for talking to humans you encounter who have illness and no longer feel like all you can say is "Uhhh sorry?"
  12. 12.
    Maybe you are a little bit more compassionate, less selfish, more present, less scared and more trusting because how the heck else do you get rid of Lyme disease?