THINGS THAT I DON'T THINK ARE REAL

There are some things in this world that do not seem real, possible or with enough factual evidence to prove that they exist. Here are some that I have noticed. Let me know if you have suggestions to add:
  1. Lazers
    How the hell do they do surgery using beams of light? You cannot convince me that these things are real. That is dumb.
  2. The Earth's Core
    Solid and liquid at the same time? Yeah freaking right.
  3. The death of Lisa Left Eye
    Like, how intensely do you need to refuse something for it not to be reality?
  4. ASMR "Tingles"
    This YouTube magic freaks me out and makes me giggle. How am I supposed to be calm enough to get relaxed and tingly while some dude is whispering to me about a doctors appointment. FAT CHANCE, BUDDY.
  5. Age
    Just a number, and numbers are theoretical.
  6. The Cloud
    What the heck can you NOT store in the cloud. Manhattan storage should change their name to "The Cloud" because it would make more sense to me.
  7. The need for cologne
    Ain't nobody need a musk so bad that it should cost over 10 dollars. Just go roll around in some pumpkin pie filling and douse yourself with rubbing alcohol.
  8. Fish that are larger than whales (please gawd no)
    REFUSAL to believe
  9. A good hair day
    I would describe my hair as coarse and oily and that combination can only be remedied with a pair of shears or a helmet.