WHAT I WANTED TO BE GROWING UP, CHRONOLOGICALLY

  1. 1.
    "Work man"
    Just like my dad
  2. 2.
    Actor
    I remember kindergarten and acting out things I've somehow observed. Normally I played the hero that had to kiss all the girls before he died.
  3. 3.
    Carpenter
    Just like my dad
  4. 4.
    Fireman
    Based on a Halloween costume and the children's museum in New Hampshire. Got to climb around a ladder truck.
  5. 5.
    Professional hockey player
    Had to move to Florida and then Georgia, thereby destroying my career before it started. Began a successful roller hockey career. Destroyed that by moving back to the northeast. Picked hockey back up in high school, when as we all know is the perfect time to be too late.
  6. 6.
    Ninja
    Based on a Halloween costume and a toy katana sword I used to chop down ferns in the woods. Also was doing karate at this point and was advancing faster than any one in the history of the west Farmington strip mall karat dojo and private investigator's office.
  7. 7.
    Soldier
    Would explore the woods with a stick that looked just like à know automatic weapon. Except it was kinda just a stick. Also was a Boy Scout and semi-obsessed with Swiss Army knives. Also perfected the mouth noises for all things explosion, gun fire, plane and helicopter fly over.
  8. 8.
    Biologist
    Got really into bugs and fish.
  9. 9.
    Doctor
    Got really good at treating my own wounds. See semi obsession with Swiss Army knives for source of wounds
  10. 10.
    Filmmaker
    Wrote a screenplay my freshman year of high school. Was trying to make a shitty book from a shitty English teacher see how shitty the book and her class was. Also loved tv and movies since ever.
  11. 11.
    Writer
    Began to enjoy using words to sound smart. Something I play around with to this day.
  12. 12.
    Lawyer
    Thought it would allow me to drive a nice car and have a big house. Also, later would deduce that it would increase my chances of becoming sports agent
  13. 13.
    Sports agent
    Had a friend in HS that was destined for D1 basketball. Decided then and there that I would profit from other people by exploiting their talents. Didn't see the movie Jerry McGuire years later until the hundredth person asked "so, like, you wanna be Jerry McGuire?"
  14. 14.
    Sports Marketing executive
    Current pursuit. Building my seat at the table by way of this flipping Masters degree from a French university.