Why I hate the New Year

For most, this time of year is an exciting time, full of memories of the past, and hope for the future. For me, it is full of fear, and an omen of loss. Let me explain...
  1. Dec. 31, 2013
    I spent the night at a party with my parents, half asleep on the couch. I tried to become friends with a girl there. A few months later, she ran away and nobody found her.
  2. Dec. 31, 2014.
    I spent the night with my best friend, snuggled under a blanket in her loft, watching the ball drop. We told each other our resolutions, but that year when I told her I was gay, she told me to never speak to her again.
  3. Dec. 31, 2015
    I spent the night with my girlfriend. After the ball dropped we kissed, which turned into a slow dance. We fell in love, but that year our parents found out, and I moved schools while she moved houses, further and further away.
  4. Dec. 31, 2016.
    Tonight, I am at home with my parents. I know that this year, I will be moving out, so I won't be around them as much... but the fear of losing them is creeping into my room. Omens of the past are knocking on my walls.
  5. Overall
    There has been a pattern of loss. Whoever I spend this holiday with, seems to vanish. I make a resolution, expecting them be see me reach it, but they never stay with me. Kind of ruins the holiday, doesn't it?