1. "My hair is the color of gold and your hair is the color of poop"
    Circa 1994
  2. "Anyone who is smart and a good writer can have sex good"
  3. "A good obituary is the best thing that can ever happen to you"
  4. "Is it problematic that I am sexually aroused by Reggie Ledoux?"
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    I mean, you guys be the judge...
  5. "Hannah, our seats are in the back of the plane" "So what?" "If the plane breaks in half, we won't be on the half with the pilot!"
  6. "What sport are Patriots?" "Tennis, I think"
  7. "Hannah, what is a cockfoster?"