EASY WAYS TO GET KILLED

  1. Follow random people on social media
    THEY WILL FIND YOU
  2. Talk to strangers
    THEY WILL FOLLOW YOU
  3. Enter a dark alley at 3 am
    speaking from experience
  4. Try and eat an alpha animal's food
    update bears like sausage and they will try and take it from you
  5. Ignore your girlfriend who is obviously smarter than you
    I would know
  6. Contract hypothermia alone with your legs tied together
    just a scenario
  7. Ask someone to kill you
  8. Tell a bunch of teenage girls you don't think Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively make a cute couple
  9. Tell me that you hate goats
  10. Go skiing in North Korea and take photos
    that will probably put you in prison and I'm not sure how easy it actually is but you can always try
  11. Walk up to me while I am sleeping and try to touch me
  12. Lay down in the middle of a coyote pack
    you'd be warm at least
  13. Eat everything you are allergic to and throw your epi pen out the window
  14. Have a name like @PatrickCleary