BREAKFAST CLUBBERS, RANKED BY HOW STRONGLY I IDENTIFY WITH THEM

Thx @ab__normality for introducing me to all these problematic faves
  1. 1.
    Brian Johnson
    You can con him into writing your essay by telling him he's smart. Overall, a thoroughly decent person.
  2. 2.
    Alison Reynolds
    A day one feminist: throws tampons all over the couch and calls out Virginity for being a social trap. Bites her nails.
  3. 3.
    Andrew Clark
    Consistent. Makes people follow through when they open emotional cans of worms.
  4. 4.
    Claire Standish
    Conceited. Virgin.
  5. 5.
    John Bender
    Well, I've never actually seen drugs????