Thx @ab__normality for introducing me to all these problematic faves
  1. Brian Johnson
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    You can con him into writing your essay by telling him he's smart. Overall, a thoroughly decent person.
  2. Alison Reynolds
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    A day one feminist: throws tampons all over the couch and calls out Virginity for being a social trap. Bites her nails.
  3. Andrew Clark
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    Consistent. Makes people follow through when they open emotional cans of worms.
  4. Claire Standish
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    Conceited. Virgin.
  5. John Bender
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    Well, I've never actually seen drugs????