EXTRAVAGANT LIES TO TELL TODAY, COLLEGE EDITION
This list is in honor of April Fool's and my favorite "storyteller," @miathurber
- •Classes are cancelled. The president just declared a school holiday.
- •Wait...you didn't know I'm a transfer student?
- •In addition to studying _____________, I've also been developing a universal language that combines Romantic and East Asian grammar structures. The UN plans on implementing it in early 2018.
- •Have you heard about the bison burgers in the dining hall?
- •Yeah, I had such a late night last night. My roommate and I flew out to LA in order to visit my close friend Kylie.(MAJOR JOKES. I don't think I could be friends with Kylie.)
- •I have actually never eaten ramen in college.(Also jokes, this is true)
- •I'm going to build a blanket fort in the Student Union tonight. Be there.
- •Privilege doesn't exist!
- •My work study actually pays better than any job I can get with my degree. Maybe I'll delay graduating a few years so that I can save up.
- •Of *course* I've studied and eaten three balanced meals today!!!!!!!!!!
- •I'm happy to announce I will be dropping out to join a Buddhist nudist colony.