HOW TO BE AN INTROVERT

  1. Approximately every two or three weeks, run low on internal energy
    Identify sources of energy drain as professors, sister, parents, Stand Partners, and friends...........none of whom did anything wrong; you in fact are to blame for running yourself ragged
  2. Spend two days waking up hating the entire world
    Attempt to stay positive and efficient but fail rather spectacularly
  3. Spectacularly annoy your extroverted friend by not wanting to do anything this weekend
    Try to convince yourself to take advantage of a busy weekend but do not succeed
  4. Plan to sleep in a ridiculous amount
    Eagerly await bedtime
  5. Binge on NCIS
    Cry over Tony and how much you love him despite his obnoxious oversexualized jokes
  6. Eat too many Pringles
    Also blackberries, but those are not as disgusting and ergo not as entertaining
  7. Cry because you wish you could love people
    But let yourself off the hook for the next few days while you recuperate
  8. Repeat.