I'D PROBABLY BE A GOOD HOUSEWIFE

so off-brand it hurts
  1. I hate hair in the shower
    So I will always clear my disgusting hair out of the drain and you will never see it
  2. I have a really good recipe for Swedish pancakes
    I'm almost really good at making it
  3. I have an obsession with vacuuming
    Ask my roommate from last year
  4. I have an artistic sister
    So I can consult her on all interior design decisions in order to ensure Tastefulness
  5. I will never forget to brew coffee
    This benefits you and me both
  6. I love candles
    We will always smell fruity & have A+ mood lighting
  7. I have a cluttered aesthetic
    It's not a house, it's a home
  8. I can stack dishes like nobody's business
    I take everyone's dirty dishes in the cafeteria
  9. I am the Mom friend
    I will be able to figure out how to nurture our children in an authoritative but loving way
  10. I keep my appointments and obligations
    So gosh darn it I'll keep track of our entire family's appointments and obligations or die trying
  11. I am wicked cute
    for your viewing pleasure (?????)
  12. ———
    what is this list