(That if clause is a big deal because pregnancy and parenthood are TERRIFYING but anyways, that's another list) (also this list is sorta facetious because I don't know if I could actually curse a child with these names) (📂📂📂📂📂)
  1. Genesis
    My oldest child must be a girl and this must be her name
  2. Gwendolyn
    So uppity and romantic
  3. Fred and George
    If I had male twins, there is no question that these would be their names. And if they were girls, I'd probably make them suffer through Fredericka and Georgia—because I refuse to come so close and NOT name them Fred and George
  4. Karl
    My dad's name. What a strong monosyllabic moniker
  5. Paul
    Another stellar succinct name
  6. Vincent
    For a girl. Named after Edna St Vincent Millay.
  7. Robin
    My mom's name. But I would name my son after her to screw the patriarchy
  8. Verity
    There is a girl at my college named Verity. I don't know much about her, but I love her name. If you ask me, this kicks all those other virtue names—Hope, Faith, Mercy, etc—in the BUTT
  9. Jethro
  10. Edmund
    Just for kicks.