THINGS I WOULD DEFINITELY DO IF I HAD A KID

My biological clock has started whirring and I'm only 19—please send help
  1. Read a chapter of Harry Potter to him every night before he goes to bed
  2. Drive him to Maine to go kayaking on the lake with my dad
  3. Take him to see every Disney movie just so we can find Aunt Abby (@ab__normality) in the end credits
  4. Half-ironically and half-sincerely tell him, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important" at least once a day
  5. Make sure all his picture books, and possibly all his kids videos, are in Spanish
  6. Dance with him to allllllllll the Switchfoot and allllllllll the Needtobreathe
  7. Maybe spend a day fingerpainting (and let him ruin a pair of my jeans so that I can wear his artwork forever)
  8. Make him Swedish pancakes every Saturday morning
  9. Teach him everything I know about VeggieTales, Lord of the Rings, and the Chronicles of Narnia
  10. Make sure he knows that Mommy's work is just as legit as Daddy's
  11. Force him to empty the dishwasher and make his bed from the age of five onwards
  12. Raise a succulent family with him—but let him choose the names
  13. Cuddle him until he hates me