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  1. chugged a cup of coffee w a side of Advil
  2. ate 5 grapes
  3. watched 4 episodes of a Hulu original show about millennial dating
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An unfinished list
  1. Pacey & Joey
    Fuck Dawson.
  2. Brooke Davis & Julian
    This kween deserves the world
  3. Monica & Chandler
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Could probably clean my car.
  1. An empty diet soda can
    Likely Diet coke
  2. Empty gum pack
    Not even helpful for a breath emergency
  3. Art drawn by the three year old I babysit
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  1. So relatable
  2. Not embarrassed to indulge w/ her man
  3. First documented case of #rbf
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  1. Beer
    Trying so hard
  2. Sports
    Any. All.
  3. Outer space
    Please dont even
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Sponsored by OkCupid and Tinder, the banes of my existence.
  1. That time I ate spicy Korean food with a ginger who rode his bike to this date for an hour from his job at Home Depot while suffering from a sinus infection.
    This man reappeared months later as my boyfriends roommate's friend at a weekly bar trivia night.
  2. That time I saw "12 Years A Slave" on a second date with a short man who had never eaten a fucking jelly bean
    He then tried to kiss me in the parking garage and headbutted me. We still talked for like a month.
  3. That time I got dinner at my favorite restaurant with my ex three days after our break-up in the middle of West Virginia after a week long road trip to move my life to Chicago.
    I sobbed on a bench, in a parking lot, and in my car. He still forgot to bring me half of my things.
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