My cat's favorite toys
least annoying to most annoying
- •The dog's tailObviously, quite annoying to the dog. But his tail seriously never. stops. wagging. "Oh, your glass is on the coffee table? Here, let me knock it over with my tail!" "You're sad? Here - a quick smack to the face with my tail will make it all better!" "What? The neighbors are sleeping? I'm sure they LOVE the lullaby of my tail repeatedly hitting the wall at 2:00am!" Seriously, cat...destroy the tail.
- •That jerk fly in the apartmentLiterally the only fly I've seen in weeks. How did it find me??
- •My shoesIs he a cat or a dog?
- •The spatulaI get it, cat - I need to learn how to cook.
- •My cell phoneI swear he knows my passcode.
- •Every single article of clothing with a strap and/or drawstring"WHERE did you put my bra?!" is not a normal question to yell at your cat.
- •The toiletWater everywhere.
- •My toothbrushEw. I now buy in bulk.
- •My eyelashesAs I sleep.