My cat's favorite toys

least annoying to most annoying
  1. The dog's tail
    Obviously, quite annoying to the dog. But his tail seriously never. stops. wagging. "Oh, your glass is on the coffee table? Here, let me knock it over with my tail!" "You're sad? Here - a quick smack to the face with my tail will make it all better!" "What? The neighbors are sleeping? I'm sure they LOVE the lullaby of my tail repeatedly hitting the wall at 2:00am!" Seriously, cat...destroy the tail.
  2. That jerk fly in the apartment
    Literally the only fly I've seen in weeks. How did it find me??
  3. My shoes
    Is he a cat or a dog?
  4. The spatula
    I get it, cat - I need to learn how to cook.
  5. My cell phone
    I swear he knows my passcode.
  6. Every single article of clothing with a strap and/or drawstring
    "WHERE did you put my bra?!" is not a normal question to yell at your cat.
  7. The toilet
    Water everywhere.
  8. My toothbrush
    Ew. I now buy in bulk.
  9. My eyelashes
    As I sleep.