Randomly Selected Texts From My Best Friend

  1. I just watched the best of me and it legitimately moved me. I don't have my period. Should I go to the emergency room?
  2. You are such a withholding cunt sometimes
  3. I only asked you because I wanted to see what kind of snippy bitch answer I was going to get! I'm so pleased with what you gave me!
  4. Look up Elena Ferrante - she is totally anonymous. More than Sia!
  5. not yet. I'm in bed drinking gin and watching the constant gardener.
  6. I just had the thought: I love when it's hot cause I get to hear Hannah complain about it.
  7. I ate the last of your rice cakes. Report at 11!
  8. I hope it's not the same doctor as last time.
  9. I would like to discuss your birthday with you but I don't want you to lash out at me as in years past!
  10. Can you fall in love with the new Jason Derulo song before I get there tonight? Thanks so much!
  11. Curved hem jersey top
  12. Yes! Women can have it all!