WHY ME?

Weird stuff is constantly happening to me, so I figured I might as well start a running list
  1. Got stuck in my jacket
    The zipper on my jacket snagged on my way to work and I couldn't get it to unzip. I arrive at the office and a male co-worker attempts to release me from my chic army straight jacket. He starts to MAJORLY blush and say, "you've got me all hot and bothered!" We cannot get the jacket unzipped so I slip my arms out of the sleeves, shimmy the jacket down my body and step out. This is also how I have to put the jacket back on at the end of the day.
  2. Shirt flew up over my head
    Walking to the train after work and the wind patterns were v abnormal. I was wearing a flowy shirt that proceeded to blow up right over my face while standing on a v busy intersection in Chicago during rush hour.
  3. Accidentally sprayed hand sanitizer in my armpits instead of deodorant
    It was a burn unlike any I've experienced before
  4. I think I accidentally started a fight in the bathroom??
    Fished a tampon out of my purse and brought it to the bathroom. When I get in the stall I realize there is a hard candy melted onto the tampon wrapper. I am struggling to open the tampon (re: sticky candy). As the wrapper finally rips open, the candy goes flying into the stall next to me. The girl in the stall lets out a small gasp, identifies the object, and proceeds to aggressively kick the candy back in my stall. I wait for her to leave the bathroom before I exit to avoid confrontation.
  5. Got hit by an old woman in a motorized wheelchair on the sidewalk
    Honestly not much more to say here besides she acted like it did not happen and wheeled away