Truths I'm Learning From the Book About the Borgias I'm Reading

  1. It was news to early renaissance Italians that it takes money to do things like not get conquered by the Turks
  2. You can write an entire book about correcting historical fallacies and still not understand that Isabella was in charge of Spain, not Ferdinand
  3. There is a weakest link in every family
  4. If you are stupid enough to get on a mule with a stranger in a mask you met at a party, you are the weakest link
  5. Once someone has dispatched the weakest link, the family that doesn't kill each other is the family that conquers Italy
  6. If you are an early renaissance young woman and you flawlessly rule two cities because your uncle father pope decides you will, people will decide you fucked your brother
  7. If you are an early renaissance young woman and you have a bestie who comes along as you help your family conquer Italy, people will decide she fucked your uncle father pope
  8. Somehow you will bring along your little brother's wife and she'll fuck your other brother and the weakest link, too, so maybe that's her fault, but wouldn't the girl squad selfies be great?