Funny Things Overheard at Work

...and other shit kids say
  1. "when you see my sister tell her that her heart is full of darkness"
  2. "I'm very impressive in swimming class"
    in response to "good job!"
  3. "my mind is making me work too hard and too fast"
    when asked to count to 30
  4. "backstroke is IRRITATING"
    he was just not in the mood
  5. "are you in school or a mom"
    those are clearly the only two options
  6. "miss Hannah what happened to your face"
    when i had a substitute who looked similar to me
  7. "is rain gods sweat?"
    asked while coming up for a breath during a swim lesson-clearly the most important thing to be doing at the moment