2016 GOLDEN GLOBES: BEST DRESSED, RANKED

Award season is when I forgo all sentence structure, punctuation, and common verbiage, and just squee at all the gowns. This list is ladies only, of course. When men start branching out on colors and textures, I’ll be there for it. But as of right now, it’s 2016, and men’s fashion is still basically no fun.
  1. 10.
    Kate Bosworth
    She really brought it with the sparkles. You know how much I appreciate that.
  2. 9.
    Jennifer Lawrence
    The slits on the sides are a little too gaping and a little too much. If not for those, she probably would have been higher on the list. I think this is one of her favorite colors to wear, because it isn’t the first time she’s stepped out in this bright orangey-red hue. I love her matching lip and the choker necklace this simple dress needed.
  3. 8.
    Gina Rodriguez
    Ok, don’t be mad at me that she’s only number 8. It’s okay! This ranking thing is really hard sometimes! It’s only because it’s navy. Navy is basically my favorite color, but I just LOVED all the colors I was seeing. It’s navy and it’s beautiful, but everyone else showed up sparkly or bright, so there you go. You look very nice, Gina, and I love and respect you.
  4. 7.
    Helen Mirren
    People bow down to Meryl Streep, and for good reason, but I want to draw your attention to the wonderful elegant fairy queen that is Helen Mirren. Just. Look at her doing her little twirly thing. She IS poise. Look at her holding her neck up with all those diamonds hanging on it! How?
  5. 6.
    Zendaya
    Okay, so I loved all the bright colors this year, yet this one is Marsala. I thought we were moving into a whole new era of color, which I would welcome, but what was I to do in the face of Zendaya? She slays. Every time.
  6. 5.
    Taraji P. Henson
    So I couldn't find a good picture of all she had going on, but I love her whole ensemble together. The stark white gown was beautiful on her, and her accessories, especially those drippy emerald earrings that glinted under all the lights, were amazing. Also, I haven't seen Empire yet, but I think I love her already. Her acceptance speech was SASS!
  7. 4.
    Melissa Benoistu
    When Melissa stepped out to present, I immediately loved this simpler dress. The high slit was so nice and drapey when she moved (as opposed to whoaa-watch-your-step-or-you’re-gonna-flash-someone). Her makeup, hair, and soft-colored accessories go with the girl-next-door ambiance that’s been working for her since Glee.
  8. 3.
    Jennifer Lopez
    Speaking of slits and accessories, J-Lo is the va-va-Voom version of Benoist’s ensemble. Bling and bright, with a cape AND a train. How does this all work for you, J-Lo? How did you do it? You’re so calm about it! If I was on the red carpet pulling off this whole deal, I’d be grinning like a doofus. Look at her nails! Who wears mustard yellow and still looks that fierce?!
  9. 2.
    Alicia Vikander
    It’s perfect. Look how it moves! It’s girly and youthful and beautiful and it twirls. The back view is equally pretty. You need to go look at more pictures.
  10. 1.
    Viola Davis
    Viola Davis looked like my dream version of Cinderella’s fairy godmother. I’ll just leave it at that so you don’t have to read more words and can spend more time looking at pictures of her. Better yet, go find a video of her from Sunday night – it’s better “in person”. You have to watch it sparkle.