MY GROWN UP CHRISTMAS LIST

  1. 1.
    Someone to pay off my student loan debt. Preferably someone famous, like Ellen.
  2. 2.
    Someone takes care of all my generation's student loan debt before our economy falls apart, so we can all have houses and kids instead of a stunted adulthood.
  3. 3.
    That I would lose 15lb with no effort whatsoever
  4. 4.
    To be an acclaimed writer
  5. 5.
    People would get a damn clue about gun control
  6. 6.
    People would give a shit about the poor
  7. 7.
    Cars that drive themselves and are smarter than people who drive.
  8. 8.
    That no one would ever again think that trickle-down economics sounds like a good plan.
  9. 9.
    Women everywhere get the love and respect they deserve
  10. 10.
    Christians stop giving themselves a bad rep. C'm on, guys, we're supposed to be the nice ones.